Dragon Age 2 – the 2 hour first impression

So I started and thought – what the heck? What is this? There are a few things we apparently need to state before going any further:

1: My thoughts on Baldurs Gate 1/2 – great games – the height of PC gaming RPG’s made on the Dungeons and Dragons license.
2: Dragon Age Origins: A nice try, and a good game – but in my opinion a KOTOR cooky cutter fantasy try and not on par with either BG series, Planescape or even Neverwitner Nights. Dragon Age is for me Lady Gaga of RPG’s fancy, peacocking and though there is a lot of talent and catchy – it just isn’t my thing and it won’t outstage a good metal tune…
3: I own a console, my third it’s a PS3 and I hardly play anything on it part from Pool and Flipper games on it. I use it for BluRay movies. Previously I owned a Xbox – for some fun with the BG console games, fighting games and Halo – which I didn’t like anyway. I had an Xbox 360 – but that piece of crap made the vacuum cleaner sound like a noise dampening device. I had that for fighting games, the BG games and a very fun Pool game…

Dragon Age 2 then – a complete change of the game? True – yes in some sense – first of all, it is the same feeling I had once playing NWN for the first time after all the infinity games – the graphic details are crap. I mean seriously – how did the potions go from nice little jars and vials to something Captain Picard dropped on his holodeck? The icons are way too consolly Mass Effect for my liking. Plain setting destroyer.
Another thing is the same thing as with Oblivion – there is a great graphic detail here – too bad they used it to make thing look like shit. Seriously – I do enjoy the design thought here – almost Bahausian in its execution, a sort of comic yet grown up feel – but seriously – the people look like something out of a clay-movie or puppeteer fantasy. I expect to find the next elf with a little yellow hat with a feather and a noose that grows when he lies…

The tempo – the tempo is actually great – when it comes to fighting. Love the action, the small details to the mage moving about the place – it actually looks like it could hurt standing too close once he fires of a missile or whatever. Too bad that for all this show – he still knows very few useful spells and I haven’t found a staff that is half a claymore yet… The other bad thing? Yes – I haven’t found one piece of paper, script, book or quest note that I have felt an urge to actually read past the heading. Blah blah blah – that way – go there rid the area of nasty red ringers and keep the tab pressed to find interesting stuff.

Things I don’t miss that others yell about: The tactical overview: as long as the combat is fast paced, doesn’t have you to even do anything for your companions – I don’t give a shit actually – this is something to compete with the other consolly games out there, like Arcadia, Two Worlds 2, Gothic and those more action oriented games. Fine – if the fighting rooms are so controlled and short in dimension who needs a tactical view anyway?
Can’t make the character as you want, big deal – I liked the dude in Planescape Torment the best anyway so who cares? You gonna stare at a but and an armor moving forwards most of the times – who cares if it has green or blue eyes?
– on that note – only three classes, yeah, the same as first Dragon Age, we are not like talking heavy RPG rule set here or by any change something that gives an old dice roller something of a headache. No – it is just like Diablo – kill them with fancy effect (mage) kill them with a bigg sword (warrior) or fight from distance and be a bit of a backstabber (rouge). Then you have a few skill trees and off you go to kill the big bad Darth Meanie Vecna Robots from outer space Diablo dude.. dudette.. whatever – it is big and has a red ring around its feet? Lets kill it!
You going to spend a life time in Kirkwall, good I hate the place already so that makes me aggro all teh answers and that in itself answers the 1, 2,3 or investigate options. I don’t have to care what they say anymore – Huzzah – I can be a MTV kid on speed with a flashy green X console again… er sure they say stuff – but it will only lead to people with red rings around their feet or more cutscenes where they describe everything anyway… Kill it!
They use the same caverns all the time, well they also use the same droning voices all the time, the same armour on your companions, the same textures, the same earth based and red colour palette and the same music, the same cheesy stuff in many other BioWare games… Hello!? Did anyone miss that this is a game to apiece the console players and fuck what is left of the PC players? I know there are a lot of BioWare fanbois and fangals out there screaming that Dragon Age Origins was soo much better. No, simply no it wasn’t. It tried to give you that illusion but that was a top down version of KOTOR without the cool stuff you played. What did you miss? Oh, ok two things – no Yoda on speed and no lightsabers – otherwise that was KOTOR you played.

Then my main beef (apart from all steam lining made it ok for me to not invest any active thought whatsover into the game and still being two hours into it – fixed some cool gears found a will, killed baddies and have several task lights to lit up when I deisre to do so – I have no idea what they are. I don’t have to care. I all of a sudden have a dwarf with me who wants me to go with his brother on some trip for yadda yadda get money yadda yadda yah stuff – I still don’t know what good he is apart from being another target for enemies. I also found out after some play time that the grumpy kid with a greatsword was actaully my little brother. Greaver, cleaver cutter – buttercups we call him. “Yeah- BioWare are such a great company making intriguing stories…”Intriguing my ass – no fun at all – the best part so far was Flemeth and the one very short notion that it may have read something from my save – but that is still over and done with after the intro – then the blight is over and then another year is past (hey ten years in this pace will go quickly I say, 2 hours and it has already been 2,5 years…). The elf that ventured with me into the darkspawn cave to find our brother tells me she always battled alone – yea right – we were three that day according to my last save – quite the impact my elven rogue that saved Ferelden did…
OK – you get it don’t you? There is a great myth here and that is that BioWare makes intriguing stories and fun character combinations for you to explore to see if Fox will have another holier then you outburst of gay-love (thanks for not being stone-age and cry out for the out of wedlock hoochy scenes by the way 😉 ). Er – nope I liked the dwarf from the start – his dialect wasn’t annoying and well – since he came on so strong on that square I figured I would have to deal with him – I mean he is telling the story so I pick him – the others? Well I fill up on what I have – er a brother that whines, a dwarf that cannot die (he shouldn’t be able to at least since he is telling the story) and a dog I can summon.

So what is it then – well it is a rahter fun game – but more then that – this is what you get – there are no more Baldurs Gate kind of games nor of that magnitude – this is it. You like RPG’s – well then this is it. The Witcher 2 will also be made console friendlier and Skyrim IV has already sold out with Oblivion – we know that won’t go back to its roots – so if you like RPGs- you kinda have to settle for this – or go WOW – or go back to teh table and roll for initiative- I would love that but my gaming group is kinda spread out – over the world – and all soon have kids part from one guy – but he has a social life…  So I take a deep breath – three really steady whiskey’s and off I go with a fancy console friendly mage and kill guys with a red ring around their feet – that’s what RPG’s are about anyway – and this – PC Gamer told me – this is now worthy of a 94 whopping %.

It is sad and pathetic – but the game suffers of being mentioned in the same concept as BG, Planescape etc – it is a fun game – yeah should just have been honest when they started out that they are EA’s bitches now – that consoles rule – until they all go crap and have to stick to online only as PC have for years due to copy shit and pirates – as well as – they really don’t want to make games that gives you a lot of options – they want to make a Call of Fantasy game – you replay certain parts of the story to make you feel a shit for it – but they get to tell it. I say this – Make some Star Wars KOTOR time movies – full time at that – and I will go see them – every one of the,. But don’t expect me to buy that this is an EPIC game of EPIC proportions. It took me less then two hours to think this – I will finish the game and during the time – I will see if I change my opinion. I’ll even try to play some hours absolute sober and actually read teh plot lines – some at least.

No – I didn’t read all the crap in Dragon Age Origins either – I hate when my journal tries to be the Outlook of my thoughts…


About sketchywolf

sketchywolf(aka Foolwolf) is a blog where I will try different hobbies and document them on. Certain ramblings and may even start some story writing etc. I will also try to have a collection of my reviews of all things that I try and wants to share...
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